ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
