new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
