and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
