you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
