Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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