Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
