omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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