I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
