Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
