Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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