Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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