dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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