Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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