is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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