also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
