I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
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