Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
