We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
