Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
