My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
