You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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