North Korea, Best Korea!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
