shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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