In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
