Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
