I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
