i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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