I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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