return my video game
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
