Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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