I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
