I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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