who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My orgasm happened in two different decades
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
