I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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