Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
