So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
