wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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