i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
