you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
