so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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