If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He had one of those small greek statue penises
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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