I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
