I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
