We're like a lot better than the average bears
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
