Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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