There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
