Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
