shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
