Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
