8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
