Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
