The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
