You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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